The last several months have been difficult. On the good side, I’m almost done writing that book (details to be shared at a later date). Also on the good-in-a-bad-situation side, my sick relative has been through radiation and ongoing chemo, which, along with an earlier surgery, have been effective to date. To spread that good side stuff out a little further, it is also fortunate that we have the room for him to live with us, and that my husband has the capacity to do things like drive him to appointments. The boy is doing well in school, though I worry about the effects of the pandemic on his social development. And let’s not forget the fact that me, my husband, and the boy are all fully vaccinated and boosted and have remained healthy through the pandemic.
Having a semi-permanent houseguest for the last five months, however, has not been the greatest, for us and for the houseguest, though no one speaks about any of this directly. It’s unclear how long this situation will last. The sudden, acute illness and subsequent death of our galgo, Lorca, the week of Thanksgiving continues to be painful. Covid keeps coviding, with omicron leading us to cancel my mother’s holiday visit this year at the last minute. Every “vacation” I take involves some other form of work, and I’m burned out. And then there is the topic of my book, grief. I am sick to death of grief and living it, anticipating it, and writing about it.
So this morning, sitting on a couch in front of a Christmas tree we will dismantle today or tomorrow, our remaining dog curled by my side, I offer my intentions for 2022.
Keep work contained to the office
Take 4 weeks off, with coverage for clients and no other work scheduled
Write more – for publication and for myself
Cultivate and prioritize connection
Be honest and firm
Recognize and maintain boundaries
Acknowledge reality
Be kinder to myself, family, and friends
Note my faults and foibles and accept them, while also continuing to grow and overcome
It’s hard to see the year ahead as full of happy possibilities. I have control over only so much. These intentions feel doable, though I may need to remind myself of them on occasion. So, um, happy new year.